Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Can self-enhancement make you sexier?



On the eve of a sex-themed Brown Symposium it only seems right to give some thought to how sexuality and Social Psychology intersect. With that being said, if you feel uncomfortable with sexual terms you may find it is best not to read this entry!

 It seems obvious (at least to me), that many concepts in Social Psychology are extremely relevant in understanding how we create and maintain our sexual identities and relationships. For example, Self-enhancement Theory (Taylor & Brown, 1988) explains that people have an innate need, or fundamental drive, to maintain positive self-views. In other words, people need to think positively about themselves and their lives because it makes them feel good.

 So how does this relate to sex? Well, it is safe to say that a large part of human sexuality is determined by how we feel about ourselves. Ok, you can call me a pervert (but not to my face please, I have a fragile self-concept to protect here), but my first thought when I was trying to connect self-enhancement with human sexuality was about how men have a tendency to exaggerate the size of their man parts. Now I am assuming that most people are familiar with this concept, but for those of you who aren’t, here is a little meme for you: 

 


So, God blessed man with a various assortment of penis sizes, and boys are made aware of this at a very young age (after all, they pee in front of each other with everything exposed). And we all know that boys are obsessed with their penises pretty much from the time they are able to explore down there with their hands. Furthermore, society instills the idea of bigger is better into boys’, as well as girls’, heads from the moment they are aware of their private parts. Put all these things together and boys grow up wanting to believe that they measure up to other boys. This often results in what can be referred to as positive illusions

Positive illusions are a mechanism that people use to propagate their self-enhanced views of themselves (Taylor & Brown, 1988). For example, Taylor and Brown (1988) found people tend to overestimate positive aspects of their physical appearance, intellect, and abilities. Applying this concept to our penis size example, it seems logical to infer that many men might overestimate the size of their members

The good news is that this same study also found that these positive illusions are actually beneficial to a person’s mental health and promote happiness and productivity (Taylor & Brown). Therefore, if a man happens to enhance a little when referring to his private parts then there really is no harm that will befall him. In fact, it may protect him from detrimental thoughts that could severely damage his self esteem. In addition, it also appears that people who exhibit higher levels of self-enhancement are actually seen more positively by others (Taylor & Lerner, 2003).  Wow! If this theory holds to be true then perhaps how a man feels about his penis can actually influence how his sexual partner feels about his penis. Pretty crazy! 

All of this information just goes to show you that the mind is a very powerful thing, and how we feel about ourselves can determine how happy we are, as well as how others see us. I’m not sure there is anything sexier than that.
  
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References

Taylor, S. E., & Brown, J. D. (1988). Illusion and well-being: A social psychological perspective on mental health. Psychological Bulletin, 103(2), 193-210. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.103.2.193

Taylor, S. E., Lerner, J. S., Sherman, D. K., Sage, R. M., & McDowell, N. K. (2003). Portrait of the self-enhancer: Well adjusted and well liked or maladjusted and friendless?. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, 84(1), 165-176. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.84.1.165

 

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