I'm too sexy for this field (Social Psychology)

Oh Social Psych, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways….

Ok that may be overdoing it a little, but I do want to discuss some of the most interesting (or as Dr. G would say) sexiest theories from the field of Social Psychology.

Let’s start with my favorite:

Cognitive Dissonance Theory- I have always been intrigued with this theory, I think because it is so powerful. The thought that people will actually change their attitudes simply because you get them to perform a behavior that is opposite of their true attitudes…well that is just crazy. Common sense would tell you that people would simply justify the behavior and move on (which they sometimes do), but a wealth of studies have also shown that people often do change their beliefs to match their behavior. It just goes to show you how complex and confusing human behavior is!

Next, and in no particular order:

Self-verification Theory- This theory also goes against everything we want to believe about ourselves. We all know we love ourselves, and we love people who love us, but this theory flies right in the face of all we know about our narcissism, and says that we actually prefer accurate feedback about ourselves (even when negative). Wow. I think it is such an interesting theory because it is counter-intuitive, yet the research shows that this theory holds true in many cases. Maybe we aren’t as narcissistic as I thought….

Ironic Processes- This theory confirmed something I always knew was real but couldn’t explain: the fact that the more you try not to think about something, the more you think about it. Is there anything more annoying?! It was cool to learn the psychological mechanism behind this problem and how you can attempt to overcome it. Maybe now I can get that damn “Call me maybe” song out of my head.

Attribution Theory- I love this theory because it explains so much about human behavior. Specifically the fact that people tend to need an explanation for everything that happens (I am one of these people), but the truth is that there is often more than one explanation for things, and sometimes things are just random. I guess the next time my husband does something strange I won’t try to figure out why (some things are better left alone).

Social Facilitation Theory- This theory is so cool because it deals with something that everyone has experienced in their lifetime: choking or peaking. One of my biggest fears is performing an unfamiliar task in front of other people, and now I know why. I think if people understand this theory than many of them won’t feel so bad about performing poorly with an audience.

Now, those are all awesome theories, but we wouldn’t have them without these amazing Social Psychologists:

Leon Festinger- Two Words: Cognitive Dissonance. Again, this is my most favorite theory and I think many people in the field agree with me. Festinger is the man. Period.

Bill Swann- This guy has some balls (pardon my French). He set out to dispute another very prominent theory in Social Psych (Self-enhancement Theory), and not only that, he did it with style. The methods he used to conduct his research and develop this theory are pretty cool and he deserves some mad props.

Dan Wegner- This man is a genius. I wouldn’t even know how to begin to think up a theory like Ironic processes, much less how to operationalize and test it. I think that this is one of the most ingenious methodologies I have read about thus far in the field.

Fritz Heider- Attribution Theory and Balance Theory, this guy has been busy. Both of these are pretty complex theories that deal with very important issues in the field of Social Psych: Explaining behavior, and explaining attraction. Kudos to you, Fritz.

Last, but certainly not least, Bob Zajonc- What can I even say about this man? He is just a badass. Social Facilitation Theory is one of the most interesting and well thought out theories in the field. And I can definitely attest to the validity of the Mere Exposure Effect (my husband should thank you, Mr. Zajonc).

Now I know I could have gone with Milgram or Zimbardo, which are two of the most ground breaking Social Psychologists for sure, but I feel that the ones I have listed are just as sexy, even without the ethical dilemmas ;)

Word count- 743

The Laws of Attraction

We have all heard the saying “Money makes the world go round”, but if we sit back to truly think about the factors that influence our lives, most of us would come to the conclusion that money isn’t everything. In fact, for most people, relationships are what our lives are built around. Everyone, on some level, wants to be liked (or even loved) by other people.  

So what contributes to whether or not we like someone?  Or in other words, what makes us attracted to another person? There are many different factors that influence our perceptions of and attitudes toward other people. One of the most important factors, which has been confirmed in research experiments, is physical attractiveness (Clifford & Walster, 1973). In a study designed to determine the affect attractiveness has on teacher’s perceptions of students’ academic abilities, Clifford and Walster (1973) found that teachers who saw a photograph of an attractive child (pictures had been pilot tested to ensure consensus as to whether they were attractive or not) were more likely to rate them as smarter and more likely to do well in school as compared to when they saw a picture of an unattractive child.  These results were stunning. Does physical attractiveness really have that much power over how we perceive others? The answer has been confirmed over and over again to be an unequivocal YES.

So, if our outward appearance is such a strong predictor of  how people perceive us, or whether or not they like us, it appears that there may be no hope for people who are not conventionally beautiful. However, research has shown that there are other factors besides attractiveness that can increase the chances of someone being liked. For example, Zajonc (2004) introduced the Mere Exposure Effect, which states that repeated exposure to a stimulus will increase liking for that stimulus over time.  In other words, when you are around another person for extended periods of time, or on a consistent basis, you will have a tendency to like that person more.

I have actually experienced this phenomenon in my own life so I know it to be true. When I first met my husband he was working at a bar/bowling alley where I also started working. My first impressions of him were that he was cute and nice, but way too young. But the more I was around him, and worked side by side with him, the more I began to see qualities in him that I liked.  I feel that this is pretty normal, because we usually grow to like people when we learn more about them or spend more time with them. What was somewhat surprising was that I began to see him as more attractive than I had before.  Not to say that my husband is not attractive, but he was not what I had typically thought of as “my type”. But nevertheless, I began to fall in love with him and every day I found more reasons why I thought he was amazing. Of course I ended up marrying him, even after we stopped working together, so the effects of exposure seem to be pretty long lasting as well. 

In a world that is so superficial at times, I think it is reassuring that there are more important things that a relationship can be built upon other than just physical beauty. After all, beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. On that note, I am glad that Josh’s great qualities (besides looks) were able to shine through and make me fall for him.

Word Count = 599

References

Clifford, M. M., & Walster, E. (1973). Research note: The effect of physical attractiveness on teacher expectations. Sociology Of Education, 46(2), 248-258. doi:10.2307/2112099

Zajonc, R. B. (2004). Exposure Effects: An Unmediated Phenomenon. In A. R. Manstead, N. Frijda, A. Fischer (Eds.) , Feelings and emotions: The Amsterdam symposium (pp. 194-203). New York, NY US: Cambridge University Press. doi:10.1017/CBO9780511806582.012

Stop looking at me while I'm doing stuff!

 

Throughout my life I have marveled at amazing athletes who seem to achieve impossible feats on the field or court and have often wondered why certain individuals seem to rise to the occasion whenever they need to perform at high levels, whereas other people seem to choke in high pressure situations. The answer to this question became clear once I learned about Social Facilitation Theory, which states that a person’s performance will be influenced by the presence of other people, either positively or negatively, depending on their level of skill or comfort with the task at hand (Zajonc, 1965). In other words, if someone is good at a task or well practiced, then the presence of other people while performing that task will enhance their performance. Conversely, if a person is not good at a task, or has little practice, then the presence of other people while performing the task will inhibit their performance (Zajonc, 1965). 

In my own life I have experienced social facilitation both positively and negatively. For example, I tend to be uncoordinated when it comes to sports. As much as I love to play them, I usually end up falling down, missing an important defensive move, and losing the game for my team. It is something that I have always been insecure about, and unfortunately it has led me to opt out of playing games and missing out on the fun. Of course now it makes sense to me that I may not be as horrible as I seem, but rather that being in the presence of others makes me nervous and elicits my dominant response, which is to be clumsy. Zajonc (1965) states that the dominant response is how you would naturally perform when not in the presence of others. According to this idea, because I am inherently bad at sports being in front of other people makes me perform worse. However, if I were to practice and get really good at a sport, then my dominant response would be to play well.

Of course, there have been times when I have seen the positive effects of social facilitation as well. For example, I consider myself to be a pretty personable and outgoing person, so when I am in a large group of people I tend to become even more outgoing and try to form a good impression on as many people as possible. Not to toot my own horn, as they say, but I have often been told I am the life of the party in certain social situations. Of course, when it comes to giving academic speeches or presentations I often feel very nervous and make mistakes. So it is interesting that I would exhibit such different characteristics in somewhat similar situations. In my opinion, this discrepancy just gives further weight to Social Facilitation Theory and how prevalent it is in many aspects of our lives.

Word count = 483

References

Zajonc, R. B. (1965). Social facilitation. Science, 149(Whole No. 3681), 269-274. doi:10.1126/science.149.3681.269

Tradebook Blog: Attached. The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find Love.

 

For my Tradebook Blog I chose to read:  Attached. The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find Love by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A. Because my Capstone research focuses on Attachment Theory, I felt that this book could help me strengthen my knowledge on attachment, and perhaps teach me some information about romantic attachment that I had not previously learned in the scientific literature. Indeed, I am glad that I chose this book because I feel that I was able to gain further knowledge that can benefit my research, but I also learned some information that can be beneficial to my marriage.

Attachment Theory, which was created by Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, states that human infants have a fundamental drive to maintain proximity and closeness to their caretaker (usually the mother) that has an evolutionary origin (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). Basically, this drive was developed in order to protect human infants from predators and keep them alive. According to Bowlby and Ainsworth, there are different types of attachment (attachment styles) that develop as a function of the relationship between the mother and the infant. If the mother is very attentive to the child’s needs and can always be counted on when the child needs her, then the child will most likely develop a secure attachment. However, if the mother is unavailable physically or emotionally, and cannot be counted on by the child to make them feel secure, then the child will most likely form an insecure attachment (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991). Bowlby and Ainsworth proposed that these attachment styles will influence how the child views the world around them; securely attached children will be confident and trusting, whereas insecurely attached children will feel unsure and be untrusting. These feelings will influence personalities and in turn, influence how the child behaves in relationships throughout their life.

Large quantities of research have been done on Attachment Theory and it has been found to apply to romantic relationships as well (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). The authors of this book have tried to capitalize on these findings by writing a self-help book of sorts that teaches the reader how to determine their attachment styles and use it to make their relationships better. Furthermore, the book also teaches the reader how to determine the attachment style of their mate, or a potential mate, and whether or not it will clash with their attachment style and cause problems. Importantly, the authors also include many stories from patients who have gone through relationship issues that stemmed from clashing attachment styles, and how they were able to learn from these experiences and use their knowledge of attachment to find healthy relationship partners.

After reading the book I definitely feel that I would recommend it to others, especially Psychology students and anyone who is interested in Attachment Theory. Furthermore, I believe that anyone can benefit from this book because we all engage in romantic relationships at some point in our lives and it is helpful to understand how attachment styles can affect the dynamic of a relationship.

Not only was this book interesting, but I found that the information can be applied by people looking for a romantic partner or people who are already in a relationship. Specifically, I feel that the theories and tips can benefit readers because they can learn their own attachment style and also learn to spot the attachment styles of others, whether they are potential romantic partners or current partners. Understanding how attachment systems work is imperative to having a successful relationship because attachment determines so many aspects of a person’s relationship style. For example, people who are anxiously attached are very sensitive to signs of rejection from their romantic partner; therefore, if they feel that their partner is withdrawing from them they will try to reestablish closeness by using activating strategies (Levine, M.D. & Heller, M.A., 2010).  According to the authors, activating strategies are thoughts or feelings that an anxiously attached person experiences that motivate them to get closer with their partner either physically or emotionally (Levine, M.D. & Heller, M.A., 2010).  Activating strategies can include thinking about a partner obsessively, feeling extremely anxious when separated from a partner, putting the partner on a pedestal and overemphasizing their good qualities, and believing that one cannot live without a partner (Levine, M.D. & Heller, M.A., 2010). Unfortunately these strategies can backfire by making the non-anxious partner seek further disengagement from the anxious partner. 

Interestingly, while learning about the patterns of interaction between different attachment styles, I actually discovered that many of them apply to my own marriage. My husband happens to be anxiously attached whereas I have an avoidant attachment. Before I read this book I didn’t understand how problematic this dynamic could be within a relationship. Although we love each other, it is often very hard for us to get along because we both desire different levels of intimacy due to our attachment styles. For example, whenever I am stressed and tired I tend to withdraw and want to be left alone. My husband perceives this as me not wanting to be around him, which activates his anxious attachment system. In response, he tries to reconnect with me by being very clingy and needy. Unfortunately, this behavior activates my avoidant attachment system, which makes me want to retreat away from him even more and put more distance between us (both physically and emotionally).  A destructive pattern emerges where each of our behavior exacerbates the other’s feelings and round and round we go. The needier he is, the more distant I become, and the more distant I become the clingier he becomes. 

At first, reading about this pattern was relieving because it made me understand that neither of us is at fault for how we are in our relationship. However, a sad realization also set in that we are fighting an uphill battle with trying to merge our differing attachment styles. According to the authors, it is often very difficult for anxious and avoidant people to come to a compromise in their relationships. In fact, the anxious person tends to have to accept that the avoidant person is simply not capable of giving them the kind of intimacy that they desire (Levine, M.D. & Heller, M.A., 2010). This was very upsetting to me because I do not want my husband to have to settle for being unhappy. Thankfully, although there were many stories where anxious and avoidant people were not able to make things work, the authors did give a few examples where compromise had been successful. 

One such example of a couple with differing attachment styles making it work was the story of Sam and Grace. Sam and Grace had been dating for over two years and decided to move in together. Unbeknown to them, Sam had an avoidant attachment and Grace had an anxious attachment. Whenever Grace moved in Sam began to feel suffocated and started lashing out at Grace for little things. One incident in particular, the toothpaste incident, sent Sam over the edge. When Sam had noticed that Grace kept squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle of the tube instead of the bottom, he completely lost it and yelled at her. Grace was completely caught off guard and didn’t understand what the attack was about. Luckily, Sam and Grace sought therapy and learned a method that helped them cope with incidents like this one. By completing an inventory which asked them to acknowledge their behavioral patterns, and to get down to the real feelings behind them, they were able to figure out a way to happily coincide. Sam was able to accept that he sometimes felt overwhelmed and suffocated when he believed Grace was getting to close to him and would therefore try to push her away, and Grace was able to recognize that when Sam began to withdraw she reacted by exhibiting behaviors that made him pull away even more. Once they both acknowledged their patterns they were able to take steps to change their behavior when there attachment systems were activated. Grace learned to give Sam space when he needed it, and Sam learned that he has to work hard to not distance himself from Grace when he starts to feel uncomfortable (Levine, M.D. & Heller, M.A., 2010).

This story was inspiring because it gave me hope that these types of relationships could indeed be successful if both people were willing to work hard and understand their attachment styles and the needs of their partner. In fact, I actually had a discussion with my husband about this book and he was interested in reading some of it. Once he had read about our attachment conflicts he said he felt like he understood where some of our relationship issues originated from. We had a very long talk about things that we could do to try to counteract the obstacles that were in our way, and came to the conclusion that we both want to make things work. Because we now both have knowledge of the different levels of intimacy that we require, it makes it easier for us to compromise and not point fingers at the other person or try to place blame. We understand that these differences do not make us bad people, and that we just have to learn to adjust and work through the hard times. Thankfully, the book does give some tips and exercises for both anxious and avoidant people on how they can retrain themselves not to fall prey to their attachment pitfalls. 

One exercise that I feel will be helpful is the relationship inventory that Grace and Sam completed. This template asks you to look at a situation, your reaction, what you were feeling, what activating strategies you employed, what the repercussions of these strategies were, and what you could have done differently. I feel that by taking the time to analyze why you engaged in a behavior and what you were feeling at the time, it becomes possible to change your behavior. I am really hoping that both my husband and I can use this method to resolve conflicts and become better partners. 

Truthfully, I would normally be pretty skeptical of any self-help book about relationships, but because the authors are both reputable sources, I feel that I can trust the content of this book.  Dr. Amir Levine is a developmental psychiatrist and neuroscientist, and is currently involved in research project sponsored by the National Institutes of Health. Rachel S. F. Heller has a master’s degree in social-organizational psychology. I believe that the authors are both knowledgeable in their fields and have sufficient experience in researching the topic of adult romantic attachment. Many of their patient’s case histories are used in the book as real- life examples and give weight to their theories, as with the example of Grace and Sam (not their real names, of course). Because of these examples, I feel that the book is credible and is beneficial for the general public. As far as being good for a scholarly audience, I feel that the authors presented a good theoretical basis for their stories, but could have tied in more scientific literature to strengthen the evidence for their conclusions and theories. However, I do feel that there was sufficient information to broaden anyone’s knowledge on attachment. As previously stated, I have studied attachment intensely and I still feel that I learned new information. 

In my opinion, this book had many strengths and only a few weaknesses. What I liked the most was that the authors really focused on trying to help people of all attachment styles learn about themselves and ways that they could improve on a personal level, as well as ways to seek compatible partners and strengthen bonds within their romantic relationships. I think that the tips and exercises are really good ways to get readers involved and have them apply the information to their own lives. I also feel that reading all of the stories of real relationships was helpful in putting the information in context, and gave me a sense that other people deal with the same issues that I do in my relationship. The one weakness I would list is that there was not as much information aimed at helping people with an avoidant attachment to counteract their internal drives and improve on themselves as partners. More emphasis was placed on the partner being able to compromise with the avoidant person’s need for space. It almost made me feel, as an avoidant myself, that it is somewhat hopeless to think that I could change my attachment pattern. I think that in future books, if they choose to write one, the authors should address this gap. However, I do think that most people would find this book helpful because most people have no prior knowledge about Attachment Theory. Learning about this theory can help others to understand themselves and their partners, and hopefully even help some people get out of destructive relationships. Specifically, I feel that people who are anxiously attached can benefit the most from this book because they can learn to recognize abusive patterns in their partners that they are programmed to overlook due to their attachment style. By learning that the feelings they are having are related to their attachment system, and not real love, they can find the strength to walk away from abusive or distant partners and find someone who can give them what they need/deserve.

If I had to pick one thing as a take home message from this book it would be that everyone has different needs when it comes to intimacy, and that is okay. Society has taught us that it is bad to be needy, clingy, and sometimes even independent, but in reality it is perfectly acceptable to desire a certain level of affection and interaction from a romantic partner. If your partner is not capable of giving it to you it doesn’t mean that your needs are wrong, perhaps it just means that may not be the correct partner for you. However, I do also feel that if you are in a committed relationship and love someone, that you have to learn to work through conflicts and overcome obstacles put in place by different attachment styles. It is up to the people involved in the relationship to decide what is imperative for them to be happy and then to do whatever it takes to achieve that.

Word count = 2421

References

Ainsworth, M. D. S., & Bowlby, J. (1991), An ethological approach to personality development.

American Psychologist, 46, 331-341.

Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.52.3.511

Levine, M.D., A., & Heller, M.A., R. S. F. (2010). Attached. The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love. New York: Penguin group.